at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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