turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
