WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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