yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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