i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
