Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize