i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think i got beer on your cat.
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