Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
