my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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