your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
