Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
