I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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