just tell him i said nine months
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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