how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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