Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
