Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
