i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
