I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Houston, we have a blender
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
