i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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