Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
