How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
