She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
