sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
