Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
