Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
