We won't sleep together?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
