I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
