Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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