Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
