No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dick very happy bro
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
