Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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