I think im going to throw up on grandma
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
