remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
