Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
