i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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