Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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