I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
