Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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