I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just want nice things and good sex
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
