Whod you bang
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
