you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
