That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
