you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I party with great urgency now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
