You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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