he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
