I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
