Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
