I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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