I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
