dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
