Duck Duck Cougar?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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