I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
soo... how was my night?
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