haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
